Insomnia, Anhedonia and The Unbearable Politeness of Being

I read this last night as I was about to sleep — my favorite part of the day lately. She describes so eloquently how I’ve been feeling the past few weeks. The comments are worth looking at as well. I know from experience that things will get better, but it’s not fun in the meantime. Anne’s blog and writing are amazing. I send love and light and hope she feels better soon.

The Belle Jar

Right now my favourite part of the day is the last half hour or so, which is the time I spend fighting the effects of my prescription sleeping pill. I get to ride this wave of sleepy euphoria, where the whirring, clanking machinery inside my head slows down and all of my limbs are loose and relaxed. It’s like being drunk or high, except that it feels very calm and safe — unlike other altered states of consciousness, I know that nothing can go wrong. When I finally do lie down, with the thought that I have several hours of blissful unconsciousness to look forward to, I feel everything draw away from me, my body suspended in a dark sea as I wait for sleep to gather at the edge of the horizon and then come crashing over me.

This is what I look forward to, from the time I wake up until…

View original post 1,267 more words

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Insomnia, Anhedonia and The Unbearable Politeness of Being

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s