Success? Somewhat, I Think — Minus That One Little Flake

This will have to be quick. I am zonked.

I did it. I got up at 5:30, did a little cardio, some weights and cooled down with yoga. It felt amazing. Yes, I’m one of those crazy people who LOVES a good sweaty workout.

Getting up with a plan was easy, plus I had made muffins last night, prepared backpacks and lunches and clothes were ready so I wasn’t rushing.

Gil and the kids left about 7:20. I had to move everyone along so I didn’t get my shower until after, which was fine since I had plenty of time before meeting my friend, so I thought…

Here’s where I flaked. Somewhere between my shower and getting dressed, it hit me that J and I agreed to meet after we dropped off the kids. Her youngest has been in preschool for the past two years and couldn’t be dropped off until 8:30. This was the time I had in my head…

Until I remembered that the child is now in REAL school and gets dropped the same time my kids and all of J’s others do — 7:45ish.

NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

I was doing so well.

I was actually taking my time and enjoying the morning until this hit me around 8:10.

Here’s the thing, you guys. J is one of my very together friends. Girlfriend gets up at 5, does her Insanity workout — yes, you read that correctly. She has four children and a successful and demanding career and makes it look easy. But…she is super-scheduled. No doubt, she was at the coffee shop not a minute past 8.

I struggle with promptness. Shocking, I know. But I understand how busy J is and I value her time. I go above and beyond to be on time anytime J is involved. Of all people to flake out on, WHY did it have to be her?

Ugh. I felt terrible. I texted her, told her what happened, begged for forgiveness and told her I could leave right that minute — this was around 8:15. She was nice about it but had to be at work by 9, so we rescheduled for Wednesday.

I plastered post-its all over my house. Please, all that is holy, do not let me forget.

I moved on.

8:30 – 2:00 : I got a lot done. Laundry, paid my student loan, which by the way is FOUR months past due. I know. Not because I didn’t have the money but because I set up the auto payment incorrectly when we changed around some banking stuff. I thought it was getting paid. Um, it was not. Next up — look at my finances.

I ended up finishing up a writing assignment for work, so hopefully that’s off my plate. I edited a paper for a friend, sent it to her and am praying she likes it and won’t ask for more changes. This one was more involved than I anticipated, but yay, it’s done.

Okay, I felt like I was getting more done, so hopefully I’m forgetting something. I responded to some work emails. I did some planning for a Halloween party I’m supposed to be handling at church this Sunday — Lord help me. I’m also in the middle of planning a Bonfire in November at a friend’s house. Long story — what was I saying yesterday about saying yes to the right things? Perhaps I do overcommit. I also spent some time chatting with two different friends. One is extremely overwhelmed and depressed. The other, well, she was recovering from a weekend with her nutty in-laws. This morning her FIL clogged up one toilet and her MIL clogged up the other. My poor friend attempted to brush her teeth and pee before taking her kids to school and when she lifted the toilet lid, she was greeted by her FIL’s ginormous turd. Seriously, what a way to start your week.

2:30 – 4:00 — Homework day from hell. Piers knocked his out so he could play Minecraft. Wallace was a hot mess from the moment he got home from school. All he had to do was draw a few pictures of things that started with the letter ‘I’ — not that difficult, or so I thought.

I left him with his notebook and crayons and when I returned he had drawn and elaborate picture of…

A lighthouse.

Me:  “Wow, what a great picture, Wallace. Tell me about it.”

Wallace:  “Well…it’s a lighthouse.”

Me:  “Uh huh. That’s a great picture but aren’t you supposed be drawing things that start with ‘i’? What letter does lighthouse start with?”

Wallace:  “An ‘L’!!!! Oh yeah! I forgot…” He points to the center of the lighthouse. “Here, I’ll just draw a line to this part and it can be ‘inside’ of the lighthouse. Now it’s an ‘i’ word!”

He looked quite pleased with himself. Whatever. It worked. But from that point on it was downhill. This kid is such a perfectionist when it comes to his drawings. They are never the way he wants them to be. I suppose he used up all his energy on the lighthouse because when I suggested that he draw an ice cube, he went off the rails.

“I DON’T KNOW HOW TO DRAW ICE CUBES. CAN’T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT THIS IS THE WORST DAY EVER?!?!?”

At some point, I couldn’t deal and had to remove myself and breathe deeply.

I tried everything. I fed him another snack. I gave him water. I suggested that he take a break and come back to it. Nothing worked.

I finally turned on his latest obsession — “Halloween George” which is his name for  the Curious George Halloween episode.

It was remarkable. He instantly settled.

5:00 – 7:00 — I had to cook beef. I hate cooking beef. I work at our local soup kitchen once a month. I love it. I love the people I work with. I love serving food and cleaning up and interacting with the patrons. I loathe the pre-prep. I feel guilty that I hate something so necessary and important. I need to pass this off to someone who likes cooking more than me. I need to be the person who picks up the day-old bread at the bakery — that’s the kind of food-prep I can handle.

I was on the third 5 lb. roll when Gil got home. Our house smelled like a burger joint but there was no dinner. Thank goodness we were on vacation last week — we’re still in good moods. He took one look and said, “Ahh. Soup kitchen Tuesday?”

He finished the beef and drained the fat and packaged it up for me. I bowed at his feet. Okay, that’s a slight exaggeration. Actually, I removed myself from Beef City and loaded the kids into the tub while Gil also threw something together for dinner. Grits and eggs with some frozen broccoli on the side. It worked. We ate and the kiddos were in bed with lights out by 8:30.

I’m spent but feeling more motivated than I have in a long time.

I got some great suggestions from my readers today. Thank you!!

Sherry has raised SIX children and is very efficient. She didn’t tell me that but I know she is — I can sense it. She suggested writing lots of lists and then setting goals for each day. I’m working on it — tomorrow is list day, as in I’ll empty my brain onto paper.  Sherry’s blog is awesome. Check it out.

Baby steps. I’m going to bed now — 5:30 will be here soon.

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10 thoughts on “Success? Somewhat, I Think — Minus That One Little Flake

  1. Pingback: I’m Not Even Close — Organized Peeps Do WHAT??!! | Grief Happens

  2. Oh my God – you’re amazing, even when you make a small scheduling conflict! And as a former A.C.E-certified personal trainer let me just say how proud I am of you for waking up at 5:30 to work out. I always, always feel better if I exercise regularly. I absolutely love to sweat too! 🙂 The more, the better, and I use my NordicTrack elliptical to the fullest. 5:30 a difficult time to work out, and you rocked it! Keep it up! 🙂

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    • Thanks! I’ve made it every day this week so far, and it hasn’t been as hard as I expected. I’ve been a little slack since the kids went back to school and honestly, getting it out of the way in the morning has SO many benefits — more energy, it’s not hanging over my head, only one shower. It just makes my entire day run more smoothly. Thanks SO much for the support!

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  3. Awwww – you are so sweet to mention my blog! Thank you.

    The key to all of this is just doing one task at a time, crossing it off and moving on – that way you avoid becoming completely overwhelmed and getting a case of the “f*ckits”. You are one woman in the universe and you can only do one thing at a time. Do it well, and move on.

    Oh – and forgive yourself for the flake out moments. That was just the Universe telling you that you had too much on your plate that day. It gave you a little break. Kind of like a God time-out. One tip – I put every appointment into my google calendar on my phone and then I set three reminders…one for the night before, one about an hour in advance of the appointment and then one for whatever time I should be walking out the door. It helps.

    We also have a large whiteboard I got cheap at Staples on a wall in our kitchen. Every Sunday I divide it into seven equal parts and put dates and times on it. Then I fill in each day what what needs to happen that day. Appointments, grocery needs, reminders…etc. Man THAT has saved my butt many times!

    And don’t forget to stop once in a while and be grateful. Thank the Universe or God or the doorknob or whatever you believe for making you healthy and blessing you with those wonderful children and husband no matter how infuriating they can be (and man can they ever be infuriating). Say thanks that you’re family prepares the meat instead of having to stand in line for it. I find that when I get most frazzled if I stop, breathe and say thank you, I, like Piers, settle.

    You are on a roll girl!!!! Keep going! I will say this, you definitely have a lot on your plate – it made me tired just reading this! LOL.

    Hugs,
    Sherry

    Liked by 1 person

    • Can you just stop everything you’re doing and come live with me? Just until I get things in order. 🙂

      See that’s exactly what I needed to know — the reminder thing I can never get. I never know when to set the damn things, so these specifics were very helpful. But really — THREE?? okay, in time I’ll try it.

      You are SO right about taking a moment to be thankful. I really really really try to do this and I wholeheartedly believe in the power of gratitude. Sometimes I look at my life and I’m completely humbled by how much I have. I never want to take it for granted. Lately, I think, instead of consciously focusing on gratitude, I’ve dived into more of a self-loathing mindset — as in ‘I’m such a screw-up. I don’t deserve the things I have because I can’t hold everything together. My children are amazing and deserve a mom who’s more together. My husband deserves a wife who can actually have a meal on the table when he comes home at night. I don’t know why I’m blessed with such good friends and good health and how did I wind up volunteering at the soup kitchen while other people have to depend on it for their one decent meal every week? UGH. I’m not worthy…” You get the idea. On and on and on…

      It’s shameful really, and just typing that makes me recognize that I was heading in a bad direction. Enough with beating myself up. It’s not helpful to anyone and it certainly sends me in a downward spiral.

      As for having a lot on my plate, I did realize once I put it on paper that I really do. At the same time, I think I’d feel the same looking at anyone’s day-to-day schedule. Life is busy and we have to prioritize what’s important to us.

      Thanks again for your help. I truly appreciate it. You’d make a fabulous life coach, efficiency expert, personal organizer/time management consultant — in case you change career paths. 🙂

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      • Ha! I would LOVE to be a life coach but wouldn’t have the slightest idea how to do that!

        We all beat ourselves up. Our brains are wired to go into “fix it” mode and when we can’t fix it, we go immediately to self destruct. Man, if I had an answer for that one I’d be on a beach somewhere with my feet in the sand. Ahhhhhh….

        I don’t think it’s shameful for you to think that way at all! I think it’s a human, natural way to think. That’s why it takes a conscious decision to detach once in a while and just say…thank you doorknob for my life. Then we can go back to beating ourselves up again.

        Just kidding.

        Kind of.

        And I’ll tell you a secret – my attention to detail sucks and I can really be a flake. But I am also a project manager so over the years I’ve developed skills and tricks to keep things from falling through the cracks and I’m willing to share with anyone else who needs it. That’s why I need three (yes three!) reminders on my phone. Flake, flake, flake.

        Hope this day goes as well as yesterday. You’ve got this!

        Sherry

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