Happy belated Thanksgiving to all of you.
This blogosphere has seen me through some tough times and I will forever be grateful for you — my friends and readers.
I’ve done my best to bring variety to Grief Happens, even though it didn’t start out that way. This blog has become a happy space for me, and I am grateful that you keep showing up. The people I’ve met in this WordPress community and beyond give me hope and remind me how much good there is in this complicated world.
Thank you for being you. I am humbly grateful!
Gil and the kids and I did what I like to call Tour of Georgia this year for Thanksgiving, and overall it was a happy time.
We left Savannah early Thursday morning and drove to Atlanta where we had a late dinner with an eclectic mix of families and cultures, and it was a pleasant, lively time. We stayed there overnight and headed out early the next morning. We stopped in at Gil’s mom and stepdad’s farm, let the boys fish and had a quick visit there, then on to Pine Mountain to visit my mom.
She wasn’t feeling well so we stayed about an hour and then took our cat off her hands. Mom’s been housing her since we were there in October during Hurricane Matthew.
We got back to Savannah just shy of midnight on Friday.
There was a lot of in-the-car-time which is never great for my anxiety — five hours on Thursday and then about seven on Friday — but I’m thankful for the safe trip and all in all it wasn’t bad.
Making the trip quick gave us time to do some much-needed tasks around the house. The weather was beautiful so we played tennis on Saturday and Sunday.
The kids were pleasant. No major fights. Limited family drama. I am THANKFUL!
Prior to Thanksgiving I got some medication issues worked out (or at least made some positive changes), and was reminded — OH YEAH, I HAVE ADHD. My brain is different and while I will never be that person who tells you it’s ALL a gift, I DO recognize that traits that contribute to the unique way I see the world, are also traits that make it painfully difficult to keep a household together, pay bills on time, cook without setting off fire alarms, you get the idea.
I basically have zero executive functions. I get such a kick out of people who say “Make a list!” And it does sound simple, but for people with ADHD, it simply is not an easy task. I have HUNDREDS of lists and they are never where I need them to be. I lose a lot of lists.
So the first day I started back on stimulants, I saw my house with this huge blast of “oh shit” clarity.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I am a firm believer that medication is ONE tool in the treatment toolbox. I have spent the past ten years searching for meds that work…and then five months down the road, the pill of the moment stops working. I’m gradually recognizing that this is simply how I’m made and my body chemistry is such that I will always have to alter my medications regularly.
I also have extreme anxiety and occasional depression which further muddies the medication situation. I can look back now and attribute a lot of my pre-children career success to OCD. I can be highly attentive to details and can hyper focus to the point of forgetting to sleep, eat, shower, etc. I overcompensate for the attention problems by obsessively checking and checking and double checking. Additionally I was an over-exerciser, borderline anorexic — though I think this was more sensory related rather than obsessively wanting to be thinner. But as my former therapist and eating disorder group leader used to say, ‘you aren’t eating and are unable to keep your weight at a stable level. Regardless of whether you’re striving for further weight loss or not, you have disordered eating.’ She was right.
But it’s like I have reached this point in my life where I want to be cured. The reality is that what I live with is chronic. It has to be managed. I’m feeling okay today. The meds are working and I’m doing my best to cease the moment and get my crap organized before they stop working. Just calling it like it is.
So…before all the holiday junk rolls in, I am committing this week to clearing paper clutter. I have an entire post on this in my drafts folder, but it was meandering and not coming together and maybe I’ll post it maybe I won’t.
I NEED TO CLEAN SO I CAN WRITE. My focus is further compromised when I’m anxious about not knowing where my stuff is. I’m just going to post this because I need to be organizing more than blogging.
Anne over at Minimalist Sometimes offers great tips on simplifying and is currently doing a 21 day paper challenge. She is awesome — encouraging and totally real. If you struggle organizationally, you should check out her site, or if you don’t, you should check out her site because she’s an entertaining writer who will make you smile.
Okay, I’ll be back. I’m off to go through some paper that’s hiding out in cute baskets. Sigh. Wish me luck and please overlook my typos and run-ons. No time to edit when there’s clutter to clear.
How was your Thanksgiving?
Are you an organizational specialist? Do tell. I need tips and will take all the help I can get.
Are you like me? Does disorganization cause you grief? Want to join me in making it better?
Oh! Last thing:
I finally set up a Facebook page for this site — It’s under Viv Jennings. I may eventually set up a page strictly for Grief Happens, but I’m toying with some other ideas for bringing all my blogs into an eventual writer website, so for now, friend me or just follow if you prefer. No promises on what I’ll be posting over there, and yes I’ll eventually post about how I decided to set up a profile under my alias, but for now that’s what’s up.