From the Parenting Archives

"Who opened the maple syrup?" Long silence as both children pretend to be hard of hearing. I snag Wallace as he cruises through the kitchen, kneel down and look into his eyes (as all those experts recommend), "Wallace, please tell me what happened to the maple syrup." More silence coupled with darting brown eyes. I … Continue reading From the Parenting Archives

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My Life May Be Many Things, but It’s Rarely Dull

We're still putting things back together after Hurricane Matthew. This will be a streaming sort of post; I could shoot for polished, but I want a finished product. My drafts folder is cluttered enough. The following story might paint a better picture of how this week is moving along: I cook more in the fall. … Continue reading My Life May Be Many Things, but It’s Rarely Dull

Happy Days — My House Will Be Clean in Four Hours!

I hired a housekeeper last week. She'll be arriving to tame my filth in less than 45 minutes. Is there anything more humbling than having a gaggle of professionals who chose that profession because they like to clean, wade through your family's funk? I'd rather have a pap smear. It didn't help that one of … Continue reading Happy Days — My House Will Be Clean in Four Hours!

A Day in the Life of a Scrawny Chick With ADD Who Takes Controlled Substances

How's that for a title? Let's jump right in, shall we? I'm taking a respite from the meds that make my brain work, not exactly by choice. When I went to pick up my refill, I was informed that I hadn't had an actual appointment in six months and this would have to happen before … Continue reading A Day in the Life of a Scrawny Chick With ADD Who Takes Controlled Substances

In Case You’ve Ever Been Curious About Feline Genitalia…

Wallace:  "Mom, are cat balls also called testicles?" Me:  "Hmmm...that's a great question, Wal."  I'm a pro at buying myself time. "I'm not sure, but I assume they are."  For the moment, I'm regretting being so forthcoming with my children about sex and body parts. My goal was to normalize bodies and explain things in … Continue reading In Case You’ve Ever Been Curious About Feline Genitalia…